“JIMMY DEAN'S BREAKFAST HAM SKILLET”
Review by: Barney Bathroom

First off, let me clarify that this review is only reviewing Jimmy Dean’s Breakfast Ham Skillet and not his sausage, southwest, or bacon skillets. Jimmy Dean gets a thumb up for his sausage skillet, but a baseball bat up his ass for his ham skillet. I don’t even like ham that much anymore because of this. I think that Jimmy Dean put circumcised penis pieces in this skillet instead of ham. Eating the ham out of this skillet felt like I was chewing on buffalo scrotums. I’ve never had to chew that many times just to break up a piece of meat. Good job Jimmy for ruining the potatoes, peppers, and onions that go along with it. Thanks for making me waste two eggs, some cheese, and some Tapatio that morning. You owe me 10 drops of Tapatio you dick! I don’t care about the eggs and cheese, but for the love of all that is sacred, you will get me back my Tapatio splashes!

I might as well of had Jimmy Dean spread his cheeks open and plop a fat one in my mouth! The next time I feel like a “poo” skillet I’ll pour some potatoes, peppers, onions, eggs, cheese, and some Tapatio in my toilet after I take a shit, grab a fork, and go to town. Shove your flannel shirt up your ass Jimmy and discontinue your breakfast ham skillet before someone runs you over with a tractor.

Posted: 03/16/08