Walt Disney Pictures presents “BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA” (2007)
Review by: Fred Fingerfuck of the Diarrhea Dozen

All the children that watched Bridge to Terabithia might as well have walked over a bridge that lead them to a land full of hairy three dicked monsters that make weird sounds and smell like broccoli. This is the most horrible G rated movie I have ever seen! I guarantee every kid that watched this was confused by it. What a waist of time, sense, and film.

This movie was all about a young boy and girl imagining of a place called Terabithia. They would go out in the middle of a forest and swing across a tree that hangs over a creek, which was imagined as the bridge to Terabithia. Throughout the whole movie all they do is run around by themselves imagining things that, most of the time, the viewers can’t even see. This movie even goes so far as making the little girl die from falling off the imaginary bridge. How the fuck can you die from your own imagination!? Might as well just put a mask on and hide in your kid’s closet and scare the living shit out them while they sleep.

On another note… This movie is phase one for perv boys in the slamming of young legal snatch. Most people use alcohol, but now you don’t have to! Just slip this movie into your DVD player and watch that young girl slip her clothes off onto the floor then have you slip your dick into her voluptuous baby box. You might as well just invite me over to your house to finger fuck your daughter’s tight virgin vagina on her 18th birthday. Do you want your children watching something like this? I sure as hell don’t. You gotta give me a good story line for my kids to watch and make sure it doesn’t have a little girl die because she used her imagination.

Posted: 02/10/08