Rupert Wainwright's “THE FOG” starring Tom Welling (2005)
Review by: Barney Bathroom

“The Fog”… more like “The Fag.” Hey nice re-make Rupert Wainwright!? Great job on ruining the original film! God damn the original by John Carpenter was a million times better than this misty piss spray of a movie! I’m a huge fan of the original and I almost went to the theaters to watch this re-make. Thank Jesus in Heaven that I didn’t! I would have taken a shit in my own pants in the theater then walked up to the ticket taker and told him or her that it was the movies fault I shit in my pants. Not because this movie was scary, which it was very far from, but because this movie was so shitty that I might as well shit my pants.

In the original (1980) it doesn’t take that long for the plot to unwind, but in the re-make it took the whole God damned movie! Fuck! The fans of the original are fuckin’ pissed! This was like giving a baby a piggyback ride and having the baby piss all over your back. Stupid ass Wainwright is an idiot! Shit! I’d rather chew on rocks than watch this movie again!

The original is a classic horror film with many classic scenes and even a classic soundtrack. When the fog was creeping up over the town, the music in the background was perfect. The way people died in the original was perfect with the plot and it was believable, but in the re-make it was like getting into a fight with a 2 year old, you already know that you would win. That’s how predictable the kills were. This re-make decided to answer every single question of what was going on and why, which was a stupid idea because almost every horror flick leaves some room for your own imagination, as did the original. What a horrible ending as well and I was way far from being on the edge of my seat. Rupert Wainwright just fucked up his own career with this. This film was only created to make money and not to portray the classic original as a great horror film. I am disgusted and hurt personally by this trash! Carpenter should go to Wainwright’s house and burn it down because Wainwright just burnt down the original film. Eat a dick Wainwright!

Posted: 01/01/08