Touchstone Pictures presents: “MR. 3000” starring Bernie Mac (2004)
Review by: Tony Shitbag

Let me start off by saying that Mr. 3000 sucked three thousand times more cock than a fat scank with three thousand cocks in her mouth. Bernie Mac can chug 3000 pounds of diarrhea for making me spend 3000 seconds watching this fuckin’ garbage pale.

Let’s ask ourselves these questions: does Bernie Mac look like a baseball player? Doesn’t his fat hang a little bit too much outta that uniform? Why the fuck would you cast Bernie Mac for this fuckin’ engine-that-could, Disney on Ice, pussy ass lullaby of a movie. Fuck this movie in its stupid ass.

This fuckin’ dirt has no plot, no character development, and no future as a film. This fuckin’ trash failed miserably at the box office and it failed miserably in my toilet. There is no reason for anyone to ever see this movie unless you want to tie someone up and torture them in a homosexual way.

The story must be told so that the people can be warned. As far as I know, comedies are supposed to be funny. The object of a comedy is to make someone laugh. This movie made me want to shit my pants and then film my pants with shit in them. That way, when I got home and played the film of my pants with shit in them, it would be better than that fuckin’ shit I watched with Bernie Mac as a shitty baseball player. Shit!

Posted: 01/01/08