WALLY SZCZERBIAK
Review by: Barney Bathroom

Oh man! Where to begin? How ‘bout you’re a pansy ass bitch Szczerbiak! You fuckin’ pretty boy! Who the fuck puts gel in their hair before they play basketball!? Who are you trying to impress… your teammates… your opponents? I bet you take sneak peaks at your teammates dongs in the shower. I bet you dream about making out with your coaches. You better come out of the closet like John Amaechi did because this guy’s got way more balls than you will ever have. I respect this guy, but not you! I wouldn’t be surprised if you were gay with your homosexual looking pictures on your web site. You’re an NBA player not a shit stabbing model! John Amaechi would kick your ass! He beat you to it Wally! Now you’re going to have to be known as the second guy in the NBA to come out and admit that you’re gay. I’ve got nothing against gay people, but you on the other hand are a piece of shit gay man!

I had nothing against Wally until he decided to kick my favorite team, the Golden State Warriors, while they were down about eight years ago. I’m not saying that he murdered the Warriors statistically on the court, but I’m saying that he made fun of the Warriors off the court to the media for no reason! The Warriors were having a very bad season that year, but he didn’t have to go say publicly that “the Warriors are a bunch of clowns.” What’s that gonna prove? By saying the Warriors are clowns you’re also saying that all the fans are clowns as well. If you wanted to make people mad… it worked and now eight years later you feel the wrath. Now you know why the Warriors fans boo you every time you come to Oakland. This is Oakland bitch, not the happy streets of Seattle. How does it feel to be on a shitty ass team now Wally! You know what Wally? I dressed up as a clown and fucked your mother while we watched you play on TV. I think you had 7 points and 3 rebounds in 35 minutes that game. Do you remember that game? Well now you will for sure because that was the game that I became a Szczerbiak motherfucker and created my own Wally World ride!

Wally World? Nice nickname! I’m Clark Griswold and you’re the Marty Moose statue dickhead! Do all of you know where Wally World is? Wally World’s a place full of sweaty men that take showers together. That’s right… the fucking locker room after practice or a game. That’s Wally’s world alright. He has as much fun showering with sweaty men as a little kid has at Disneyland. You might have some basketball skills Wally, but you sure as hell have no penis!

Posted: 01/01/08