“ALPINE INN & SPA” 920 Stateline Ave. South Lake Tahoe, CA
Review by: Barney Bathroom

Give me a fuckin’ break! What a fuckin’ shit hole! I really hope that the owners of this place read this review and then close down their motel. I stayed at this motel for one night with my girl, December 28, 2005 to be exact. Everyone knows that it is really hard to get a place to stay in South Lake Tahoe between Christmas and New Years, but who the fuck jacks up their prices this much and has a big cardboard box to sleep in? It is normally $30.00 a night to stay here, but since it was between Christmas and New Years they jacked up the price to $75.00! Keep in mind that this place doesn’t look too bad on the outside.

This place was like spending the night in a crack house on 7 mile in Detroit. This place was like spending the night on a grade school bathroom floor where the kindergartners pull down their pants to their ankles just to pee in the urinals. Since this place was so shitty, we made sure that we spent the night in it as barbarians. We blazed up some nice trees rolled in tobacco leaves and stunk up the place. I also got a bloody nose in the morning and wiped it all over the sheets. I also made sure to pee on the bathroom floor before I left. I’ll never stay here again.

The walls were thin as fuck and I could hear our neighbor’s conversations perfectly through them. Also the heater would make these random “tink” sounds when it was turned on. It sounded like a munchkin was stuck inside the heater! Also, the damn bitch at the front desk rolled her eyes when we asked for an extra pillow! C’mon now bitch! We gave you $75.00 for this shit hole at least you can give us an extra pillow with a smile! Fuck this place and fuck you if you stay in it after reading this review!

Posted: 01/01/08