“KNUCKLES HISTORIC SPORTS BAR” 1333 Old Bayshore Dr. Burlingame, CA
Review by: Barney Bathroom

Blow it out your ass Knuckles! This is a sports bar… correct? Well then, fuckin’ seat my party, give us menus, and some fuckin’ beer! Not have your fat floppy boobied waitresses walk by me and pay no mind when we’ve been seated for about 15 minutes. All three of their waitresses were ugly, stupid, rude, smelled, and probably had a penis. I wouldn’t blame them though. If I worked there I’d probably saw my dick off, shit my pants, serve people, and not care about my appearance or hygiene.

I will now explain the repulsiveness of this so called “historic sports bar.” We have exactly six people in our party and all six of us sit down at a table right next to the bar. We wait… Floppy boobied waitress going by once and says nothing, floppy boobied waitress going by twice, floppy boobied waitress going by three times. Okay… fuck you lady! In the span of about 15 minutes and about six pass bys we were finally noticed. “What do you guys want?” What do we want!? We want fuckin’ menus! Do your job and serve us bitch! She comes back with two menus. Two fucking menus! There are six of us. My God! Keep in mind this is just the beginning (our party was nice the whole time we were there, so we didn’t deserve this repetitive hatred).

I told two waitresses that it was Tony Shitbag’s birthday and they said, “Oh that’s great” with no enthusiasm and they didn’t even say happy birthday to him once the whole night. Does Satan run this place!? If so, I guess Tony Shitbag, Creamy Carlton, and myself are angels from above with the power of shitting on, murdering, and then fucking this whole establishment. Oh did I say establishment? Sorry, I meant a cave full of cavemen... fucking ponies.

Who the fuck gives you ranch dressing in a plastic container at a sports bar? Then after this “cucumber up my ass” service you have the nerve to charge $0.50 for the ranch dressing. This place has the worst service I have ever had. I would have rather bought a sandwich and ate it sitting on the sidewalk late at night in the middle of the Tenderloin in San Francisco. Eating here was like falling down an endless flight of stairs. I could have tolerated gay porn more than this horror house.

Posted: 01/01/08

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